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October 8, 2013
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i:

         he was the hard rock of the city, and i
         the orchestra of the forest—
         where his cement sidewalks ended, my
         dirt and shrubs began

ii:

         on a summer day, he told me
         he liked the way the sun looked
         in my trees. i blushed so hard, a wildfire
         almost burned me down

iii:

         i kept noticing his billboards
         glancing my way. i let my leaves
         land on his apartment buildings, and all
         his traffic lights turned red

iv:

         he reached into my brush
         and picked my raspberry heart, neon
         shining in his eyes. our lips collided
         in a chorus of car alarms and songbirds
Experimenting with a new style, playing with extended metaphor, and listening to Fleet Foxes for the first time.
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:iconluellalove:
luellalove Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
so pretty.
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:iconohellohara:
ohellohara Oct 12, 2013   General Artist
So glad you think so! I was going for "painfully adorable, but without being too cheesy/cliché," "pretty" definitely works for me!!
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Oct 9, 2013  Student Writer
"our lips collided
         in a chorus of car alarms and songbirds"

I love that line. This poem is stunning! :love:
Reply
:iconohellohara:
ohellohara Oct 12, 2013   General Artist
Thank you so much! That line may very well be my favorite in this whole piece, I'm so glad you enjoy it!! <3
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:iconfernknits:
fernknits Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
So much sweetness and tenderness.
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:iconohellohara:
ohellohara Oct 12, 2013   General Artist
I'm glad you think so! It is pretty heartwarming, isn't it? I was imagining some sort of "awkward boy meets awkward girl and sparks fly immediately because they're both awkward" scenario as I was writing this... and I was listening to Fleet Foxes, of course.
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:iconfernknits:
fernknits Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Fleet Foxes FTW :)
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:icontld7:
tld7 Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow. I love this. So delightful and exciting and beautiful. I'm so jealous of the raspberry hearted person :)
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:iconohellohara:
ohellohara Oct 8, 2013   General Artist
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it!! I am too in a way, actually. Interesting how this stuff comes out in a person's writing....
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